Have you been squeezed lately?

The singles at my church have been going through a study on James for the past few weeks that has been very enlightening. Just last night we studied James 3:1-12, which talks about the taming of the tongue. Or perhaps I should say, our inability to tame it. We were reminded of the power of our words, which was no real surprise. But the idea that our words define who we are was a new concept to me.

I've always functioned under the premise that "my actions do not define who I am." Now, for those of you who believe the old saying "do as I say, not as I do" - this is NOT what I'm referring to. I defer back to God's word in Romans 7:15 where Paul says "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Paul is speaking of our battle with the flesh. We desire to do what is right, but we often give in to our fleshly desires and do just the opposite. However, our weak moments do not make us any less of a Christian, nor do they define who we are as a Christian. They simply remind us that we are sinful beings and that we can only overcome the temptations of this world with God's help. Wouldn't this same logic apply to what we say?

Maybe not.

I found the following article at http://www.boundless.org/, a website by Focus on the Family that I love to read. I love the analogy that is given of the sponge and how what comes out of us reflects what is inside of us.

In Luke 6:43-45, Jesus talks about this as roots and fruits:

"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

In other words, our words (and thoughts and actions) are the evidence of what is stored up in our hearts, the fruit of what is rooted inside of us. The circumstances of our lives simply reveal what's taken root in our hearts. When pressed, we either ooze the fruit of the Spirit or the fruit of sin.

Author and biblical counselor Dr. David Powlison uses the sponge analogy to help us understand this passage. If you hold a wet sponge in your hand and squeeze it, water will hit the floor. Most of us would come along and look at the puddle staining the carpet and wonder why someone squeezed the sponge. But Dr. Powlison says this passage in Luke shows us the squeeze only revealed what was already in the sponge. If the sponge were dry, the squeeze would not have elicited any water. The problem wasn't the squeeze; it was the contents of the sponge.

In the same way, when we get squeezed by the circumstances of life (an inevitability), we ooze the overflow of our hearts. We usually don't like what we see, so we blame the squeeze. We blame the circumstances. "I wouldn't have reacted that way if I hadn't been tired." Or, "I only said that because I was hot, thirsty, and uncomfortable." That's our default setting: blame the circumstances.

But Jesus tells us the overflow is what's already in our hearts. Being tired, hot, thirsty, or uncomfortable are only "revealers"; they aren't the reason we react in anger. We're angry because anger has taken root in our hearts.

I know I have been squeezed quite a bit lately and what has come out of me has not been very pleasant. Honestly, I'm feeling a bit like a lemon at the moment. I can only pray that God will restore me to Himself and allow the Holy Spirit to squeeze all of the junk out of my life so that I can absorb His goodness.

A Fun & Frustrating Weekend!

I love this little guy! He turns 5 on Wednesday and my parents brought him to Dallas this past weekend to celebrate his birthday. We were supposed to go to the Lego Store, have lunch at Dave & Busters and then visit the Dallas World Aquarium. Things did NOT go as planned.

A block from my place, my dad's truck broke down and we spent 3 hours trying to get all of the needed parts and a mechanic to come and fix it. Mason was so incredibly patient and watched movies with his Gigi while my dad and I ran back and forth to Auto Zone. We finally did get around to going to the Lego Store, which was a huge hit! He literally couldn't contain his excitement and just had a look of awe on his face the entire time. We then went to the Dallas World Aquarium, which was sadly a disappointment. I had been there before and absolutely loved it. However, many of the animals were hiding yesterday. Probably due to the fact that there were approximately one million people there. Ha! Mason did get to see some sharks, which were the highlight, before we headed home. Ultimately, he had a fun day and all of the adults were tuckered out, so it was a mission accomplished!

Yesterday was simply a reminder that it doesn't always matter what you are doing, as much as who you are with. I enjoyed getting to see my mom, dad and Mason. And even through all of the kinks in our plan, we still had a wonderful time together. I love my family.

I drive...

Revelation of the week: when everything is not right in my little world, I drive. I literally get in the Jeep, put my foot on the gas and don't stop until I feel better. Does this make me weird?

I used to blame this on the city. I need trees and fresh air to survive so I would drive to where the highway ends, take off down a country road and just soak it all in. Perhaps there is something about the country that gives me a little peace of mind and soothes the soul.

But the tough question remains: where am I going? And what exactly am I running away from?

I drove for over an hour this past weekend. (Good thing gas prices are somewhat reasonable right now!) I was almost to Oklahoma when I finally got everything sorted out in my mind and felt okay enough to turn the car around. Sounds kinda like a country song, now that I think about it. Ha! I'm a funny little person, with odd quirks, but I'm learning to love myself. If driving off into the wild blue yonder is my way of coping, then I'm doing pretty good. Right?

A Bedroom Make-over

This past weekend, I finally decided to get rid of all of the blue and brown in my bedroom. Sure, it's been cozy for the past 2 years, but I was ready for something a little more girly and shall we say, shabby chic! All that to say, I have to seriously apologize for the "before" picture. As a photographer, I'm ashamed to admit that this was the best picture I was able to capture with my camera phone, as I left my big shot camera at the office. However, if I didn't post a "before" picture (no matter how hideous it is), you wouldn't be able to appreciate the after quite as much.

Before (forgive the messiness...I was preparing to paint!)

After

Yes, the blue walls have finally been replaced with a soft gray (Gray Clouds by Sherwin Williams), just in case anyone was curious. And as a birthday present to me, I bought the most A.M.A.Z.I.N.G bedspread ever from Anthropologie! It's seriously made out of sweatshirt material and makes it almost impossible to get out of bed in the morning. And to top things off, I rearranged some of my furniture, scored an adorable desk and chair from Craiglist, and now have room for the coziest little office ever. It just begs me to sit down and write, or edit pictures, or just pretend like I'm Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail". :)

Needless to say, I'm a happy girl in my new sanctuary! Even my new desk lamp/lampshade that was purchased at Tuesday Morning says "My secret place, a place to relax..." Sounds like I may be on to something!

Happy Father's Day!

This is my dad! A man that I love, respect, honor and admire more than I could ever express. A man who lost his own father at a young age, yet still learned what it takes to raise a family, provide for them and love them unconditionally. My dad is one of the hardest workers I know, always willing to provide a helping hand to someone in need. He is a leader in the church, a grandaddy to his grandkids, a husband to my mom. Although we may not have always had the best relationship or communication, I have never doubted his love for me and he is the one person who I know would drop everything to be there for me. Whether it's driving around the deer woods with him, playing a competitive game of UNO, or remembering him standing by my side when I had a back injection, I have been so blessed to have him in my life. Today and always, I am thankful to be able to call this man my dad and I am grateful to God for giving him to me.

Diapers or Depends?

These were the suggestions my counselor made to me this week. As a way to have my need for touch fulfilled, she suggested I find a way to volunteer with children or the elderly. Not a bad idea actually. Babies love to be held and old people love hugs, right? Definitely something to think about. And as far as my need for words of affirmation is concerned...I'm stuck with writing positive things on my bathroom mirror. :) Otherwise, I'm just going to continue trying to find validation in all of the wrong places, and quite frankly...we don't want to go there.

I was also told that I need to figure out who my "safe" people are. For far too long I've been functioning under the premise that everyone is safe because I'm entirely too trusting. It's been a rude awakening to realize that not everyone will love me unconditionally and not judge me once they find out I'm imperfect.

And not to go too far off on a tangent here, but there is a strange freedom that comes when you realize where you fall in the whole scheme of things. God is God and I am not. He is perfect and I am not. The whole purpose of the Old Testament laws were to remind us that we can never live up to them. Perfection is unattainable BUT grace is sustainable. I'm so grateful to have a "safe place" in my Heavenly Father.

Anslee Kate's 1st Birthday!

It is so hard to believe this sweet little girl is turning one on Tuesday! She is such a bundle of joy that is full of giggles and has just about everyone wrapped around her finger. We celebrated her birthday out at the lake with a delicious cake that Amber made and some fun times splashing around in the water.