Do you ever get the feeling...

...that something just isn't quite right? I've had this nagging feeling for quite some time now. Perhaps it's the fact that my 30th birthday is lurking right around the corner and I'm still living in the land of "limbo". According to Webster, limbo is "a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date". My personal favorite definition is "an intermediate, transitional, or midway state or place".

Not to be misunderstood, I am very content with my life as it is. God has blessed me with the most amazing family and friends a girl could ask for. However, it doesn't take away the longing deep inside to be made complete. And not just by another physical being, but by the One who created me. This temporary world is tough on single people. Not only are we separated from our Heavenly Father, but due to the fallen world we live in, we've been left without a confidant, a companion, a co-adventurer in life!

I read the following article recently on a Christian website that I felt pinpointed the feelings that I, as well as many other singles, often experience.May we never try to quench the desires that God has placed in our hearts, but recognize that they are from Him and to be used for His glory! I pray that my life of singleness will be of ultimate signifance to Christ and His kingdom.

The "Wailing Siren" of Loneliness by Suzanne Hadley

I suppose it's finally time to admit that I am an extrovert. For years I have been telling people that I am an introverted extrovert. That I recharge with alone time. But I'm pretty sure that's not true anymore.

Take this weekend for example. I deliberately made no plans so that I could get some things done — clean my room and bathroom, mop the kitchen floor, work on a writing project. I turned off my phone. I didn't go on Facebook. I drank an entire French press...twice. By the end of the weekend I was terribly lonely. The absence of people highlighted that empty spot that I suppose is always there.

In his article "The Gift of Loneliness," Peter Nadeau describes that gnawing feeling of alone:If there's an organ in the body that causes loneliness, I'm sure it's located near the stomach. When I'm really hungry I'll eat anything—lettuce, ice, dried pasta, frozen peas. The same is true when I'm lonely. I'll look anywhere or do anything to stop the hunger. I know I'm lonely when I check my e-mail, click on another site, and then check my box again to see if mail came in. Maybe I missed something. Sometimes I dial the voicemail on my cell phone to check for messages, even though the very colorful and accurate display screen reads "no new messages." Maybe the screen messed up. When I get home from work, my first stop is my office to check my phone. Aha! The little green light on my caller ID box is flashing. A new message! I dial into the system. I punch in my code. I wait. I frown. I hang up. Another telemarketer wants to sell me solar heating for my pool.

I can relate. I try to avoid these lonely moments as much as possible. But perhaps loneliness serves an important purpose. Nadeau explains that Adam felt incomplete before Eve, but it allowed him to recognize that God had more for him:

"I know too many singles who pretend they aren't lonely and pretend they don't care about marriage. At times, I fight the same temptation. It's easier to deny the angst of being without a soulmate than to step into the abyss of loneliness. Stifling a desire makes us feel in control; acknowledging a desire makes us vulnerable. Yet a desire that isn't open can't be filled. Adam's experience reminds singles that loneliness is normal and necessary."

This is affirming to me, because often I grow weary of the single life. I want to throw in the towel because everything seems out of place in my life. I took a wrong turn somewhere. I need a new job. I need to change churches. I need new hobbies. I need new friends. I need to move to a new city. Yet when I calm down and take a good look at my life, I realize I actually like my job and my church. I enjoy my hobbies. I value my friends. I love where I live. I'm just out of sorts because I feel unconnected. But it's okay; I should. Adam had the same feeling until God gave him Eve. We're made for so much more. Loneliness is the wailing siren that doesn't let me forget.

The way I chose to deal with my loneliness this weekend was by reading Ephesians 6 and reminding myself of the need to put on the full armor of God. Nadeau points out that loneliness drives us to God:

"Loneliness brings me to a place of submission and surrender. The weight of a lonely heart is too great a burden for me to bear. I struggle, strain, and grit my teeth to carry the load, but it becomes too much. I'm forced to lay it at God's feet and let him carry it. Surrendering our desires for intimacy to God isn't the same as stifling those desires. When we surrender our desires for romance to Christ, we admit we aren't in control of this area of our lives nor do we want to be. We heed his call to patience. We wait for his best. When we kneel before our Father with uplifted hands, we have his promise that when we ask for bread, he won't give us a stone.And ultimately, loneliness isn't a single problem; it's a human problem. God meets our need for community and connection in this life in a variety of ways: marriage, family, Christian fellowship."

But our lonely moments also remind us that this world is not our true home. It's good to remember that now and then.